39 before 40 :: Nourishing the Body

Because age has never been a really measuring stick for me nor aging an entity that I feared, I have been rather surprised by how much revolving around the sun for the 39th time has permeated my consciousness .  I don't think I ever sat down to write about Juju's birth, but I really grasped on that day--just a little over a year ago now--that my core strength has eroded over the past few years.  While the labor was blessedly free of any complications, it was my most difficult.  Plagued with mild morning sickness during the third trimester, I was malnourished and weak.  Not only was my body weak, but my once strong and determined spirit was depleted;  I was pleading with the midwife to just take me to the hospital for an epidural.  Gratefully, she held my hand all the way through and Baby was born at home, albeit to a weak, exhausted Mama.  A mama who realized that she needed to restore her body, soul, and spirit.

The next year was difficult.  These last two babies are my closest spaced.  My toddler is high spirited and adventuresome and Baby turned out to be an early walker and adept climber.  My eldest son reached adolescence--a mix of new pleasures and new challenges.  My husband's job situation changed and has required more of his time and more of his energy.  The constant disorder of the house cluttered--well, clutters--my brain. I have alternated between treading water and sinking.  Restoration most certainly did not happen.

And then my thirty-ninth birthday in April.  And suddenly a panicked realization that fertility is not immortal and the overwhelming chaos that comes with mothering young children is truly temporary.  All at once, the grasping that I am soon to be heading into my forties and, in the blink of an eye, my fifties and that I will have children here at home with me during those years.  Children depending on me for their physical needs and for emotional nurturing.  An urgent resolution occured on that birthday, that with God's grace and to the best of my ability, I do not want to spend my children's youth--or my grandchildren's, for that matter--physically weakened, malnourished, spiritually lackluster and in a mental fog. I realized that these are the "middle years" so to speak and they will lay the foundation for my "later years"  Years that I am actively hoping will find me able bodied and maintaining a sharp wit.


A resolution for restoration.  
A journey to regain what has been lost.

Every one must study his own nature. Some of you can sustain life with less food than others can, and therefore I desire that he who needs more nourishment shall not be obliged to equal others, but that every one shall give his body what it needs for being an efficient servant of the soul. For as we are obliged to be on our guard against superfluous food which injures body and soul alike, thus we must be on the watch against immoderate fasting, and this the more, because the Lord wants conversion and not victims.

~Francis of Assisi

Right around the time of my birthday, I went to the dentist for a check up and we had a conversation about doing some long overdue work.  It was a discouraging appointment as usual because, though I have a fabulous, holistic dentist, I also have a mouthful of decaying teeth.  This time he made a comment, though, that really rattled me in to facing reality, "Almamater, your home care is great.  I can see that you are brushing and flossing just fine.  All of the decay is coming from the inside, though.  What are you eating??? "  What??  Me?  I am a healthy eater.  Whole grains! Okay, too many of them, a constant throughout the day, actually.  Fruits and vegetables!  Well, maybe not as many as I like to imagine.  Sugar!  Yes, a lot.  Almost compulsively, but doesn't brushing teeth take care of that? Meat!  Yes, good proteins.

And so, with little steps and always seeking a divinely laid path, I have been moving forward.  Knowing that the health of the body is critical to the well-being of the mind, the strength of the immune system, and, well, all of the operating systems of life, I have been focusing on nourishing my physical self, searching to placate the true needs of my body.  Now that I am tuned in, I can hear the cries of deficiencies and of over-indulgences.

I have spent  a lot of time revisiting a forgotten cookbook from my kitchen shelf that shares the discoveries of an early 20th century dentist who traveled the world studying indigenous diets of remote tribes and villages. Diets that resulted in healthy people who suffered few diseases and even less dental decay.  Sounds like just what the doctor ordered for me. And now there are new ingredients in my diet:  cod liver oil, pastured butter, real whole milk, pastured beef, coconut oil, lots of fresh and fermented vegetables, kim chi, sardines, bone broths and so much more goodness.  And some of my bad companions---only with the help of the Holy Ghost---have been banished--well, mostly:  grains and sugars.

 Grains and sugars have long been my boost on a long afternoon and my comfort at the end of a hard day.  And I have long known that they are like the wolves in sheep's clothing---pretending to be my friend, but really meaning to harm me.  And yet, the temptation, the addiction.  I didn't think it possible to overcome and banish these wolves.  But, I prayed, begging for the strength and it was granted.  Literally overnight.

And so,the beginning of my 39 before 40:
          
      1.  Giving up--mostly--my dietary undoings: sugars and grains.
     2.   Embracing a genuinely nourishing, nutritious, mindful habit of eating.
     3.  Incorporating necessary, carefully selected supplements.
     4.  Visiting the eye doctor for the first time in fourteen years (my vision with glasses is still 20/20, though it doesn't feel that way)
     5.  Seeking and embracing a natural and true healing of my dismal dental health.