nocturnal ritual

When I was a young, first-time mother, a well-intentioned friend discovered during the course of our conversation that The Prof and I were allowing our newborn babe to share the bed with us. This friend, fresh from early childhood educational training and feeling rather plump with knowledge, advised me not to make a habit of nursing the baby to sleep or sleeping with the baby and NEVER, she warned, rock and nurse a baby to sleep. The thing to be feared was that the baby would grow into a child who is dependent on the presence of a parent or some other external assistance on the nightly journey to dreamland.

But I had a baby who was already addicted; he wanted his Mama when he was sleepy and it went against all of my instincts to deny him his rather insistent newborn wailing pleas. I chose my instincts over the advice of a dear friend and, in this case, have not regretted it.

And you know that friend was right. The children have evolved through different phases, but each one wants me at their bedside at night in one capacity or another--they count on my being there before they fall to sleep. And I say, rue the night that it isn't so! I love the nightly ritual of visiting each one, counterpane turned back, all snuggled in their beds---some nearly swallowed up by a mini-library and armed with reading lights, another with a doll in flannel pyjamas or some manner of stuffed creature cozied up close and another who resents blankets and prefers darkness to even a nightlight. I love lingering with each child to rub their backs or stroke their head while we whisper in the room dimly lit by the hall light.

This nightly ritual has both the comfort that routine offers and yet a rich spontaneity. Some nights there is little conversation and on other occasions, it can require a concerted effort to bring the chatter between the two of us down from lively to calm. I first get the wee ones to sleep and then slowly move from the most weary to the most alert in a gentle procession. We talk about the day behind us or the one ahead, we talk about current interests, we share an inside joke, or sometimes a child (or I) may have saved an important question or bit of news that required the privacy of a nocturnal exchange. One night the eldest of the girls was sleeping on the floor in a sleeping bag and we stayed up talking for over an hour before I insisted that we must get to bed!

Some nights, I cannot deny, I am exhausted or pre-occupied and the idea occurs to me that I would like to just give a hasty goodnight and move on with my own agenda, but, of course, children are not so willing to let go of a routine--especially one that involves one on one time with a parent. And, I am sure it will come as no surprise, that I always go to bed glad that I did not disappoint.

It will be a sad day, indeed, when I can no longer be that balm that eases my dear children into the night; but it is a ritual I will savor for as many nights as they live in my home.

for granny

Baby O, 6 months

Little Queen + Lucy

Sunshine + Ruthie, Kit + Rosebud

Firstborn (photo credit::Papa)

summer '08: local destinations (+ fun for nothin')

Another free local destination...what could be better, really? Last weekend we spent a pleasant afternoon in the shade of a local park (shade was important, because it truly is still summer here) frolicking about with what you might call some suburban cows.

Most pleasing for me was just sitting back and watching the children play and work together.



It is so heart-warming to see them

genuinely and spontaneously helping each other.

Or, to watch a little one struggle to

accomplish a difficult challenge motivated

simply by the desire for a personal victory.
(Can you see the sandaled foot pushing

desparately up the side of that bovine?)

And then, to witness the sweet respite that comes with a hard earned victory.

Little Queen took a tumble and looked to me for a reassuring smile.

And then she got herself right back on the horse, er, I mean cow.

a blessed exception

From mid-June to mid-August, the weather

forecast here in Central Texas is:

Sunny, Hot, highs in the mid to upper 90s

20% chance of rain.

It is so predictable, I rarely bother to
check in on the meteorologist's predictions
during the summer months. Which
would explain why I didn't know there was
a 50% chance of scattered showers today.

And how blessed we were to have a shower
scatter that glorious water down on us today.

The grass greened and grew in front of our very
eyes. I think it brought some new color into
the girls' eyes, as well.

The puddles, the mud, the magical sidewalk mirrors.
Little is more exceptional and welcome than a
July rain shower.

Baby O didn't know what to think.
Someday soon he'll be out splishing
and splashing through though those
irresistable puddles and catching raindrops
on his tongue.

and yet, we do still have fun

Despite the impression I gave during that previous post, there is still plenty of fun and joy around here. I have risen out of the pregnancy fog to put together a few feast day celebrations.

On December 5th, the children hung their stockings in hopes that Saint Nicholas soon would be here. And he was, but I my camera battery was dead, so I didn't capture any pictures of it.

Even without the photographic evidence, you can be sure he came with his generous spirit bringing silver (chocolate) coins, books for Firstborn, a hand-knit kitten (purchased from the Woolies shop at Etsy) for Rosebud, a Therese DVD for Sunshine and lots of other little tidbits. Of course, there was the traditional box of clementines on the table. And no coal in the stockings. There were also lots of pictures to color, games to play and history to read, courtesy of the amazing St. Nicholas Center website.

Taking a cue from Jordan over at Oh Happy Day, this year I decided the children and I would roll beeswax candles for our friends and neighbors as small Christmas offerings. And then, by some divine coincidence, my friend Becki mentioned that December 7 is the feast of St. Ambrose, patron saint of candlemakers. Well, that decided it! Last Friday evening we began our candle rolling adventure and plan to have them finished in time to have our priest bless them this Sunday.

If you have never done this, by the way, it is a relaxing activity that can be enjoyed by the whole family. The Knorr beeswax kit we bought included basic instructions and adequate wick for rolling out lots of subtly scented, beautifully hued candles.

And then winding up the week was the feast of the Immaculate Conception. In the afternoon we attended Mass and came home to spend a pleasant evening within. In honor of the feast, we ordered out for pizza. What a treat! Then I prepared a dessert which seemed just wrought with symbolism for the day.

I gave a sweet smell like cinnamon and aromatical balm;
I yielded a sweet odor like the best myrrh;
and I perfumed my dwelling as store, and galbanum,
and onyx, and aloes, and as the frankincense not cut,
and my odor is as the purest balm. (Ecclesiasticus, 24:20-21)

Jenn writes at Catholic Culture that it is customary on this day to bake and eat gingerbread cookies representing the aroma of our Lady described in this passage from Ecclesiasticus (aka Sirach) It is also traditional to eat white foods on this feast, representing, of course, Our Lady's purity.

Symbolism or no, this was a simply delicious cake
and worth an annual repeat.

Thus, following this simple recipe for Ginger Cookie Icebox Cake (simple because I did not make the cookies from scratch), we found the perfect marriage of sweet white cream and aromatic spicy ginger. There were nine layers, which The Prof-a lover of symbolism-immediately equated with the Divine Maternity and perhaps the slightly bitter blood orange compote that topped the cake represents the blood and bitter sorrow that Mary had ahead of her. Well, it was a all a good reason to break from our Advent fasting and enjoy a good slice of cake, anyway.

And now onto the feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe (today), the feast of St. Lucia (tomorrow) and then Gaudete Sunday (3rd Sunday of Advent)....

This new book in which a French psychiatrist and mother of two promotes forty reasons not to have children, resulted in one lovely thing afterall: Karen Edmisten's response.

ETA: Via Karen E., be sure to check out Sarah's own forty reasons to grow a family. Almost enough to overlook her Buckeyes allegiance. Hook 'em, Horns!

Music for Little Souls

Music is a thread that has woven itself throughout the entire tapestry that is me. My mother was a much respected piano teacher in the midwestern village that I called home as a child. Musically, my earliest memories are learning some simple black key and white key songs...keyboard topography pieces. Then, hours and hours of listening to piano lessons. Listening to these lessons naturally familiarized me with the teaching repertoire and the intermediate and early advanced classics. My mother listened to classical music from her record collection. The only records I really remember listening to as a young child, though, are Burl Ives' Little White Duck and Annie.

As I grew, my interest in music matured and in turn developed a love for classical music with only a requisite nod to the pop music of my peers. Going on to earn an advanced degree in music, I was so immersed in this music, there wasn't time for anything else.

When my husband and I started the family, there was one thing I was certain about: our children would be raised in a rich musical environment. Since the Prof is a professional musician, our children have the unique opportunity to regularly see and hear very talented opera singers, pianists, and instrumentalists of every type rehearse in our home studio. But, in the day to day, it is the music that comes from our stereo speakers that provides their basic musical nutrition. And I mean to feed them a diverse, bountiful, and gourmet diet.

Many friends and acquaintances have asked about the recordings we recommend. Mostly it comes down to the musicality and quality of the recordings. I abhor recordings with synthesized instrumentals, groups of toddlers singing out of tune, and patronizing arrangements, in the same way that I reject poor quality literature for children. Charlotte Mason refers to the dumbed down literature as "twaddle" and I think the description is apt for much of the music aimed at children.

But there are exceptions. This is part I of the list of CD's that have withstood the test of time for my children. I will primarily represent recordings directly intended for children, though I strongly encourage parents to listen to, discuss, and dance to classical music of all types with children.

So grabbing from the top of our stereo tonight, I find:

Dance on a Moonbeam: a collection of songs and poems
by Bill Crofut with Julianne Baird*Benjamin Luxon*Dawn Upshaw*Frederica von Stade* Meryl Streep (Telarc)

This CD is absolutely one of our all time favorites. Mr. Crofut began this project in 1998 with a vision of "offering poetry, song and the word-music of Shakespeare to children who I believe can be counted on to respond to the fresh impact of beauty. They need not be talked down to." Yes! That so eloquently states my philosophy about children's music.

Even the liner notes are a delight as they are illustrated by Mr. Crofut's daughter Erika. She explains: "As a child I remember my dad would always include my sisters and me as he composed songs. He would ask, "Is this what the poem sounds like to you?" On this project he asked me, "What do you think the poems look like?" I have been imagining these drawings for years..."

Sadly, Mr. Crofut died of cancer before the project was completed. He recorded the title song for the album just months before his death. The rest of the album is a mix of wonderful folk music and recitations from Shakespeare's plays. This album is as good as it gets for children's music.

you are my little bird by Elizabeth Mitchell with her husband and daughter. (Smithsonian Folkways Recording).

Ms. Mitchell's rendering of these lovely folk songs is fresh and intimate. While the album is sweet, it is not syrupy at all. Ms. Mitchell has an earthy tone to her voice which gives a pleasant restraint to even the most rambunctious songs. The album is clearly intended for the younger children, but that doesn't keep the adults and older children from wanting to hum along on these lilting numbers. Many of the songs are about birds, so it would be a perfect gift for a young bird lover.


Circle Time: Songs & Rhymes for the Very Young by Lisa Monet (Music for Little People)
Okay, I'll admit it: this one is a little too sweet. BUT, Ms. Monet accompanies herself so nicely on the guitar, has a pleasant voice, and sings such a nice sampling of the classic children's songs, that we just can't resist it. She uses a "pre-school" tone, but even after ten years, I still haven't tired of this one. It's just fun!

Real Music for Kids by Helen Marlais is a delightful new addition to our collection. This CD has 61 tracks of intermediate level piano music composed by the likes of Telemann, Schubert, Tchaikovsky, Rameau, Bach (J.S. & C.P.E.), Beethoven, Scarlatti, and many others. Most of the tracks are under a minute or not much longer. It is a collection of little character pieces that offer great opportunity for movement, story telling, and inspiration for the piano student. I noticed at the website that there are others in the series...I am sure we will be exploring some of these, too.

And the last one for tonight...

Snoopy: The Musical (Original London Cast) This one came into our collection after I read about it on Melissa's blog. This is pure fun. Everyone responds when the first track of the CD starts up and we all sing along. There is humor, history, love, tongue twisters and drama. We all love it; even my 1 1/2 year old dances and croons along to the brassy Broadway songs. Melissa gives a vivid summary of the riches found on this album, so be sure to check out her description.

Oh my, there is still so much wonderful music to discuss. I would love to know what other families are enjoying musically in their homes, so don't hesitate to give us some titles and recommendations in the comment box. Maybe this should turn into a Lovlieness of Children's Music event? Anyway, more recommendations to come...

A "Bonding" Moment

On a recent weekend morning, somehow I found myself, due to the persuasive powers of my dear son, delicately angling and super gluing dyed chicken feathers to the back end of a hand whittled arrow. Honestly, I hate Super Glue. I had spent days suggesting alternative means of securing the feathers and in general putting off the inevitable. Firstborn closely supervised the gluing and carefully inspected the quality of work after each feather was attached. Though I tried to keep cheerful conversation and a pleasant demeanor, I cannot deny that inside I was grumbling a bit. Did mention that I really hate working with Super Glue?

Anyway, according to Firstborn, I have a real talent for this craft. But all of my heart melted when hunched over the fourth or fifth feather, Firstborn issued this statement of gratitude:

"Thank you for doing this, Mom! I just don't think there are too many moms who would spend time fletching an arrow for their sons." And later on after a test flight, "Mom, these are the best yet! You got the angles of those feathers just right!"

That just made it worth having my fingers glued together for the rest of the day. Fletching arrows? It's a good thing.

Today (Wednesday) we celebrated the tenth birthday of our beloved Firstborn. Impossible to believe that it has been ten years since those very first contractions, that first labor of love, and those first blessed moments of holding this tender little boy in our arms. And to see him now making new friends, playing baseball, and performing in piano recitals, it is humorous to imagine how we sometimes fretted over his cautious toddler personality. But for my Firstborn, the most recent blossoming of maturity has been his discovery of selflessness. These past few months I have witnessed as he voluntarily takes on tasks that are not attractive or without reward because he recognises the communal value. I have seen him generously give to a sibling or friend some small pleasure or treat at cost of his own enjoyment.

Sacrifice. As Catholics it is a term we use frequently and a habit we try to develop and yet it is so difficult to convey meaning and value of such an idea to our children. But, in looking back over these past months, I see that my once delightfully dependent and decidedly needy baby is learning this lesson in small ways. He is cheerfully shouldering new responsibilities and looking for ways to contribute to family life. His baby steps toward manhood have a larger stride and greater confidence than ever before. But in the meantime, we are embracing and enjoying these last years of boyhood.

Dear Son, we love you and are so very proud of who you are. Happy birthday!