of pliers and antifreeze or a tale of living in the margins

Recently, Lissa mentioned on her blog having once read a book about "margins." (Perhaps she was referencing this book?) It is about allowing margins in our lives to avoid crises or unnecessary stress... a financial safety net, enough time for physical rest, etc. I was most struck, though, by her mention of the margin of time. If you know me, it won't surprise you that I often do not allow enough time to leave the house with young children; I am a procrastinator. We end up leaving the house dissheveled, departing in foul moods and arriving late at our destination. Frustrating. So I have taken Lissa's advice and started tripling the amount of time I think we will need to depart smoothly and arrive on time.

Guess what? It works! Even Firstborn noted the difference and has really gotten on board with trying to make it happen. For example, instead of our usual "fifteen minutes 'til departure" call for ballet class, for example, which typically involves hastily braided hair, terrified hens being thrown back into the coop, and a driveway left strewn with toys followed by a scolding from mother and stumbling into class late, I give a "forty-five minute 'til departure" call. The results: a cheerful departure with smooth braids for the ballerina, hens gently returned to their roost, toys secured in the garage and a good parking spot at class.

So as we have pushed through these first couple of weeks of April, I have wondered how the idea of margins could be applied on a larger scale. April and May are always brutal. It is the peak of sports season for Firstborn, the calendar is peppered with recitals, birthday parties, tax preparation, adult outings, numerous additional work committments for The Prof and extra liturgical events. So, why not plan to say "no" to more of the requests and offers that come our way before we find ourselves with no margin to deal with unexpected demands? I think I need to read that book Lissa mentioned.

Now we are in need of a little margin. Crises little and big have come along and are bullying the committments we are already made. It is a small crisis, to be sure, but now that all four of the control knobs for my stove have broken, I was finally forced to get out a pliers to turn off the stove, demand silence in the room and call Maytag. The knobs are on their way, but, in the meantime don't anyone misplace those pliers.

On the larger side of the time crisis equation is the van. Last Tuesday, our Previa had to be towed. The next day the mechanic called and demanded to know what our intentions were for this thirteen year old vehicle. I assured him that we had begun some car research and shopping and that we hoped to donate it as soon as we found a replacement. On Friday morning when we finally carved out some time to pick up the aging machine that had been so generously donated to us some six years ago, the mechanic made the stern suggestion that we "donate it tomorrow!" and exhorted us not to drive it any distance.

Of course, it is April and we are overcommitted, so there just isn't much time to shop around for a new vehicle. (Oh for a bit of margin!) Plus there is the blessed fact that we don't all fit in the sedan anymore. But on Saturday, between hosting a little birthday party for a neighbor and getting The Prof off to the ball fields to fulfill his "concession stand duty," we managed a quick trip out to test drive a vehicle. Today we drove the moaning van (and I do meaning moaning) to Mass one last time and stopped twice on the way home to refill the antifreeze. We quite literally made it home on a prayer and a bottle of coolant.

Sometime this week The Prof will have to cancel some of his committments so we can go buy that car we test drove. No time to really shop around much. We'll just get down to the haggling and hopefully drive home with a vehicle that will carry us through many a over-committed season.

Coming soon...details on our dream vehicle.